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Is This Real Love That is Happening?
I want to KnowI won't start this article by making a scientific apology, where falling in love is the result of a complex mechanism, where love at first sight is explained by norepinephrine, the famous chemical messenger.
It's not very glamorous, is it?
Let's tackle a subject like this, with a little more poetry.
Even if your relationship won't go down in history like Romeo and Juliet, the first time you really fall in love, trust me, you won't forget it! And we often call this the first love.
Love is more than a feeling, no matter how noble it is. Love consists above all of being loved, while nurturing those rare and precious moments.
What is special when we fall in love, is this immediate chemistry that occurs between two people who are complete strangers to each other. This overwhelming and destabilizing feeling that against all expectations, leaves us facing a reality where two people are destined to be reunited, thus intensifying the emotions of desire and this intense feeling of nervousness, giving way to the expression “to have butterflies in your tummy.”
Why is Falling in Love So Unsettling?
When we talk about budding love, falling in love, innamoramento, the amorous expression "falling in love" immediately comes to mind. Because there is no other word: it falls upon us. Women fall pregnant too… We often fall! All the poets and philosophical writers, from Goethe to Shakespeare, from Dante to Rumi, to psychological or sociological theories, everyone has tried to position their beliefs on love and falling in love.
However, after much reading on the subject, plus my personal experience and that of my clients, what emerges (and this will remain my strong conviction), is that we feel love, we sometimes suffer it and that in any idea, as soon as there is love there is no more suffering, because if it causes suffering ... Then it is not love. There are also the beautiful stories of men and women, who throughout their married life will have fallen in love with each other several times. And as Crystal Woods said, “It's easy to fall in love. To endlessly fall in love with the same person is extraordinary”.
When questions disrupt the magic of love
I call it self-sabotage: if you think you don't deserve to be happy in love, if you think that access to happiness is forbidden to you, if you are in constant fear of infidelity and you have the impression that it's too good to be true! Then, you have a tendency to self- sabotage, or worse yet, subconsciously, this relationship might end before you've even written your best story together.
Falling in love is an amazing feeling, but once again there is no general law that can prove to us that this story can really work.
You are currently in a relationship and you are experiencing this story as a gift that life has given to you and you especially do not want to let this chance slip away. But always those pesky doubts come back and creep into your mind.
Is your love reciprocated? Will this story last?
What is the secret of these couples who resist time?